Are your "health problems" actually boundary problems?

You like vegetables, and you know what kind of exercise makes you feel great and look great. You fall asleep easily and know that you feel better when you remember your vitamins.

And yet you do little to none of those things.

Some of the sweetest ladies I know do not get a minute to themselves once the kids are up, or they use it to clean the house, not do any of the things that care for their bodies.

“If I can get up and take a walk before the kids are awake, it’s great, but otherwise the day is just going.” Will the children do something crazy while you walk for 20 minutes?

“I love vegetables but I don’t take the time to make them.” You cook things your kids like and skip food for you?

“I just forget to take my vitamins.” Do your kids brush their teeth and hair?

You love your children, and you want to be a good mom, and you have so many ideals.

Maybe no one ever showed you how to pace yourself, and you believe that constant self-sacrifice is better, holier, than recharging.

Maybe giving it all to your children feels safer than wondering if the time to yourself is “indulgent.”

Maybe you were socialized to serve others generously and never ask for what you would like.

Maybe you think you're only "good enough" if you've given every last bit.

This can work until you're too tired, and sometime in your 30s, or after a couple of kids, the physical consequences start to set in. At that point your options are to pull back, take way better care of yourself, or roll the dice on how you'll be showing up as a mom and wife.

I really thought I had this figured out because I did so much more to have fun than my mom had. But I still wasn't pacing myself well or saying no where I needed to. I was still taking on extra where I could have kept life a little simpler. And I wasn't the sweet, calm, fun mom I had hoped to be. It took a while to come to terms with my limitations in time, energy, focus, but I hope my younger kids are getting that calmer mom.