Are the Kids' Wants ahead of your Needs?

You’re Putting Your Children’s Wants (or what you want for them) above your needs.

Does anyone else think it’s ironic and sad when an exhausted, overweight mom drops her child off at gymnastics? Good for her getting her child there. I bet her life is crazy.

Many moms skip vitamins because they are “expensive”, while paying several hundred dollars per month for kids sports.

Many moms never nap or exercise and continually cut their sleep because there is “too much to do” and “not enough time” between all the activities, classes, shopping, meal prep, and afternoon sports practices.

We have lost sight of what it means to be a family.

I’m not talking about 3-course dinners in the evening.

I’m not talking about time to play games, talk, pray.

Most families I know are having quality time with their children and at least one meal together most days. But mom gets no time to care for her own body.

A family exists for everyone. Not for the children, not for the parents. For everyone.

Dad and Mom should both get time to just be human.

But instead…Mom spends so long putting kids to bed that there’s no time to connect with Dad by the time they’ve checked all the “good parent” boxes.

If Moms takes a walk in the evening she risks coming back to chaos.

Mom skips her monthly ladies night because she’s too tired from taking kids to sports 4 nights a week.

This is about the bigger picture.

There are things you want for your kids, and things they actually need.

They NEED love, affection, sleep, food, education, activity.

You WANT them to have a great education, a nice bedtime routine and a story every night, and 3 healthy meals each day without the kitchen being a disaster.

What about your needs for love, affection, sleep, food, education, and activity?

Are you keeping in touch with friends? One or two calls a week, meeting up for coffee now and then?

Do you have a 9 hour sleep window so that on average, even with kids needing you, babies, bad dreams, sickness, you’re getting 8 hours of ACTUAL sleep?

Do you eat meals that work for you, or struggle with weight because you don’t want to make yourself a separate meal from the kids?

Do you have time to learn new things and talk to other adults about it?

Can you take a walk or lift weights most days?

And do you have an hour to just relax, read, sleep, or do a hobby you enjoy? Because I bet your kids do.

This is not about escaping back to childhood and tons of free time. It’s acknowledging that human needs always exist, and many parents put those needs aside to meet more wants for their children, only to find themselves resentful and in poor health.

If your kids have all the good things and you're just surviving, it's time to shift and show them an adult life they can look forward to.